I stole this from someone else... enjoy!

If I were a month I would be: October
If I were a day of the week I would be: Thursday
If I were a time of day I would be:  4am
If I were a planet I would be: Jupiter
If I were a sea animal I would be: a porpoise or a manatee
If I were a direction I would be: northeast or left
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: the beautiful dramatic red sofa I saw in the antique shop the other day
If I were a sin I would be: gay marriage (ha ha)
If I were a historical figure I would be: Beatrice in Much Ado about Nothing
If I were a liquid I would be: carbonated water
If I were a tree, I would be: Maple, if only for its colors in the fall
If I were a bird, I would be:  blue heron
If I were a tool, I would be: the lever, the wheel or a pulley
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: a purple dutch iris
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: the calm before a really good thunderstorm or tornado
If I were a mythical creature, I would be:  a green griffin, clearly (a little MHC05 pride)
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a guitar, because its held close to the body
If I were a color, I would be: dark teal
If I were a TV Show, I would be: This Old House, it presents the perfect balance of historical background with applicable life skills such as how to spend the extra millions on the house. It's been my favorite show since middle school.
If I were a vegetable, I would be: an artichoke?
If I were a sound, I would be: white noise
If I were a car, I would be: a hybrid
If I were a song, I would be: tough...I would be sung by Eva Cassidy or I would be Janis Joplin's Summertime.
If I were a book, I would be written by:  Jane Austin or Shakespeare
If I were a food, I would be: healthy and probably vegetarian
If I were a place, I would be: my parent's backyard in the middle of July
If I were a material, I would be: cotton
If I were a taste, I would be: spicy
If I were a scent, I would be: cloves or nutmeg
If I were a religion, I would be: UU (unitarian)
If I were a body part I would be: hands
If I were a facial expression I would be: a genuine smile
If I were a subject in school I would be: social studies
If I were a shape I would be a: circle
If I were a number I would be: 13